reminder: love will make it alright. some day. some how.
man robes.
i am the woman who is always cold. no matter the day. no matter the time. i am also the woman who has thought about how nice a robe could be but has never broken down and bought myself this (what i imagine must be) wonderful source of warmth.
enter the boyfriend. who is always hot. always has the air conditioning on. and never wants to wear more clothes than he has to.
somehow. said boyfriend got in his mind that he needed a robe (one simply cannot live without such luxury of course). and contemplated the fleece-lined rugby robe vs. the unlined rugby robe.
i sat back. and stifled my laughter. and reminded the boyfriend that he is never cold. for a few days…
and then he bought the robe. and then he wanted to take it with him to meet my family (a few states away). i quickly vetoed that packing decision.
but now i am left with a boyfriend who wears a robe. and nothing else.
(thankfully, he chose the unlined robe instead of the fleece-lined robe. sweaty boyfriends are only attractive in certain situations after all).
sales misinterpreted.
Client: The executives have us on a very tight budget, so don’t expect your going rate. As you can see, everyone has these cheap knockoff “dɥ” brand laptops.
The client points to logo on laptop cover.
Client: Have you ever even heard of “dɥ” brand?
Me: Actually, I think that’s an upside down Hewlett Packard logo…
Source: clientsfromhell
Vera Bradley
def: Brightly colored and patterned handbags, totes, luggage and accessories.
Women of all age, race and socio-economic background love Vera Bradley. My girlfriend is a woman, therefore loves Vera Bradley. Until recently, I was blissfully unaware of this fact but am happy to now be informed as it makes shopping for presents for women significantly easier. My girlfriend enjoys talking to other women about Vera Bradley nearly as much as she does carrying these well crafted, reasonably priced, and easily maintained bags. Note: do not refer to them as “bags,” as you will quickly find yourself in a conversation about the differences between a “bag” and a “Bowler.” Ultimately, the shopping process, conversations with strangers, and insanely bright colors are worth it in order to have a place to stash the stuff I don’t want to put in my pockets. This is until the day/night comes to an end and my girlfriend and her friend’s arms get “too tired” to carry the Vera Bradley trunk show we’ve been toting down 6th street all night.
My girlfriend is lucky I am Man enough to carry her Vera Bradley.
My house is a man’s world, and you’re just living in it. Babe, have you seen the lavender bath salts?
my baby she talks softly. my baby she found out. you catch more flies with honey. more with a whisper than a shout.
one southern guy. one midwestern girl. 
